i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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