I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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