Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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