woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
