So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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