Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
A bitchslap is in order.
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