You don't have asthma, your pregnant
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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