I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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