I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
