I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
