Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
