Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
