Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
