Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
