I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize