I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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