He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
