He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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