if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
