Plan B is the new Plan A
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
