THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Randomize