I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
