I wish my penis had an off switch
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
