Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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