my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
