so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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