I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
