I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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