i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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