I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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