So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize