my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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