sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
