Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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