mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize