Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize