I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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