Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
