Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
should my penis look like a turkey
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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