yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
