if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
