I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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