moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
