Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize