I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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