He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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