for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize