Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
