By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize