everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
tell your sister to shave her snatch
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
