I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
