Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
