Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
