Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
