Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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