Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
please come you make the beer taste better
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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