He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
