She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize