This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
