Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize