I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
