i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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