I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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