Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
do herpes really smell.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
