I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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